Writing a persuasive essay can be difficult and perceived as boring, but we made it fun. Our job was to write a job to the Olympic Board of Commissioners, attempting to persuade them to adapt an incredible new sport in the next Olympic games: one that WE created based on a combination of two sports. The students brainstormed brilliantly and had a lot of fun making this new sport seam real and plausible!
My Juniors class focused on three paragraphs: an Intro, a Body explaining in detail what the sport was all about, and a nice conclusion.
Emily (4th grade) had a very creative idea.....
To The Olympic Board of Commissioners:
I really enjoy watching the Olympics every four years on T.V. I am writing to you in hopes that you will consider adding a new event in the 2016 Summer Olympics. It is called the "Swim Vault." It is an awesome combination that will include subjective and objective scoring.
Let me explain how I see this new sport. You pole vault over a bar, and flip and turn in the air into a swimming pool. Instead of a soft mat, you go into a long swimming pool. After landing, you swi all four strokes one time, and you're done! The vaulting and diving will be judged with subjective points, like a normal diving competition. The entire event will be timed by a maximum of twelve minutes. If you don't go over the pole the first time, you get two more tries. If you miss all of them, you get disqualified. If you miss the pole and try again, the time you try again will be counted, too.
I really do hope you will consider "Swim Vault" to become one of the best sports in the 2016 games.
Sincerely,
Emily
The Senior group was challenged a bit more. Our outlines looked like this:
Paragraph One: Compliment, be positive, make it a great introduction
Paragraph Two: Briefly introduce the sport
Paragraph Three/Four: Describe the sport in great detail, including
-rules
-how to get points
-how many on a team
-equipment
-etc.
Paragraph Four/Five: Describe the benefits of adding this sport, including
-money to be made!
-allowing more athletes to participate
-inspiring kids
-sponsorships
-more jobs
etc.
Conclusion paragraph: Include a power sentence that will seal the deal!
Deven (7th grade) wrote a brilliant piece. This crazy sport just might work, he is so persuasive!
TennisPolo
Dear Olympic Board of Commissioners,
Let me deeply congratulate all of you for organizing one of the greatest
sporting events in the world. The
Olympics provide great opportunities for athletes and a wide variety of sports
for those seeking a chance to take their sport to a new level.
I am writing to you in reference to adding a new phenomenal and
breath-taking event to the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. In my opinion, combining the sports of water polo and tennis
would be an excellent blend. I
have decided to call it, “TennisPolo.” We all know that these two sports have been highly enjoyed
and anticipated by fans all over the world. A combination of two of the most popular sports of the
Olympics could prove to be an excellent idea and attract a lot of attention.
Basically, TennisPolo incorporates most of the rules of water polo with
a few exceptions. Athletes will
play in a deep pool with a goal on each side. With seven players on each team, including the goalie,
athletes must attempt to hit a tennis ball into their goal. Obviously, they will wear a swimsuit, a
cap, and ear protectors, the same equipment as any normal water polo
player. However, athletes will
need goggles to have the ability to swim underwater.
Now, here is the part where tennis is brought in. First of all, players will not use
their hands, but rather tennis raquets.
Plus, there will be a net in the middle of the pool, just like a tennis
court. When athletes attempt to
serve, there is a chance that the ball will be intercepted by the net, therefore
giving the other team a point.
Players are also permitted to swim under the net, allowing them to have
a better chance at making a goal.
Lastly, this is not a co-ed sport, but there can be both men’s and
women’s teams.
Commissioners, think of the benefits! Think of the opportunities! Think of all the money! It’s a dream come true. Ignoring this sport would be a grave mistake, and I’m here
to tell you why. TennisPolo will
bring great opportunities to all water polo and tennis players around the
world. And, of course, a new sport
can lead to great job opportunities.
Imagine the President thanking you for reducing the unemployment rate! As we all know, excellent players such
as Michael Phelps or roger Federer inspire young lads around the world to
participate in the Olympics. A new
sport will do just that. Plus,
don’t you agree that a fabulous sport such as TennisPolo will require new
equipment, which helps companies sponsor themselves. And this leads to….
MONEY! As TennisPolo is an
extremely unique and breath-taking sport, people around the world will flock to
the host city in hopes of watching a brand new sport! Declining TennisPolo is like not accepting a sack of money
being given to you. The profits
and revenues can lead to new and greater sports! The host city will love you for adding a new sport. Why? Well, Olympic tourists are bound to stay at hotels, eat at
restaurants, and visit exciting spots within the city. Think carefully… there are a lot of
benefits!
Trust me, TennisPolo will end up to be one of the greatest sports in the
2016 Summer Olympic Games.
TennisPolo can add to the variety of excellent sports already included
in the greatest sporting event of the world.
Sincerely,
Deven
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