Persuasive Writing: Amazing Inventions!

 To celebrate Thomas Edison's birthday, students were asked to come up with an invention they thought could change the world for the better.  To convince the reader that this invention is an absolute necessity (and perhaps even possible!), they had to write a five paragraph essay outlined like this:

I. Brief Intro on the invention, perhaps including a scenario or hypothetical question

II. More detail on how the invention would work

III. Whom this invention would benefit

IV. Extra details (cost, size, various options)

V. A conclusion sentence with a snappy "sell it" sentence.

Enjoy these samples!  I bet you'll want to buy these inventions to have for yourself!

 CancerCancelator2000

By Adeline (4th grade)

If I could create a new invention, it would be the “CancerCancelator2000.” My invention would be able to cure cancer using a laser, and you would save a lot of money doing it. Then cancer patients wouldn’t have to worry.

The “CancerCancelator2000” would be easy to use. It is a two inch long device, and if you press the on/off button, it turns on or off. If you press the yellow button, a dark blue laser shoots out. When you aim it at the cancer patient, the tumor will disappear, and they will be healthy again.. 

This invention would help cancer patients. If they are sick, they will get better. Doctors are helpless in curing cancer. This invention will make things easier and will save a trip to the hospital. 

The “CancerCancelator2000” comes in any color, and is only $11.99. Returns are allowed, but you won’t need to return it because this invention is so helpful. The “CancerCancelator2000” is very obliging and will help you save money. When it cures the person, confetti shoots out to celebrate! This will make the cure even more exciting. 

This invention will help many people and hospitals. And it is not expensive. Buy it to cure cancer!

"The Personal Temperature/Weather Control," by Jayden (5th grade)

If I could create a new invention, it would be the ‘Personal Temperature/Weather Control™’. Have you ever overheated in a greenhouse on the equator or hypotherminated on the North Pole? Or maybe just wanted to change the weather for your own well-being? Well, there isn’t any way to control the natural weather, but you can control your own personal weather/temperature with this new invention!

All you need to do to use the Personal Temperature/Weather Control™ is to push the power button. Because your neurons communicate with electrical signals, the Personal Temperature/Weather Control™ can detect them. Using a lot of AI training, it can detect what you are thinking. After this stupendous invention reads your mind, it automatically changes your personal weather/temperature to what you want. You sense the whole world as it would be if it were the weather/temperature that you want. For example, you could be in a snowstorm but want a sunny, warm, but not too hot day. You think, “I WANT A SUNNY, WARM, BUT NOT TOO HOT DAY!!!” The Personal Temperature/Weather Control™ then reads this and changes your weather to a sunny, warm, but not too hot day. This means you can see no snow at all, feel it, or interact with it, but instead feel and interact with a sunny, warm, not too hot day. This invention does not affect any other people’s senses or weather(for anybody who is absurdly evil and wants to control the whole world’s weather).

This invention would help people who like outdoor spaces, but hate the weather. Also, people who live in extremes could use this, for THEY could definitely live at the North Pole or in a greenhouse on the equator. And everyone has experienced guessing wrong with the daily weather, or ignoring the forecast altogether.

The regular price of the Personal Temperature/Weather Control™ is $50. If you want others to see your weather (maybe on a very bad day), you can get that version, which costs $10 more. Also, you can switch it off if you want your weather to be private. Another option is the tints modification, which can give your world any color tint. This costs $10 more. The last version you can get is the day/night version, which costs $15 more. These additions are all stackable.

Everybody has experienced a situation where they hoped that winter was warmer or that summer was cooler. By using the Personal Temperature/Weather Control™, every single aspect of the unreliable, natural weather could be changed into a blissful, realistic version of the earth!

 The Lost and Found KeyChain

 by Jessie (5th grade)

Have you ever lost something and felt depressed about it? My newest invention, “The Lost and Found KeyChain.” will fix that. A “Lost and Found KeyChain” is a small convertible keychain that when you click a button, your lost object, as stated in the name, will be found.

This Lost and Found KeyChain would be extremely simple to use. First, when the owner of this keychain realizes they have misplaced an object, they would simply take out their keychain and press the a button. Take into consideration that there are two buttons: the blue one is for finding a person, and the purple one is for finding an object. After pushing the a button, make sure to say what you want to find, or else your KeyChain will give you everything anyone has lost. Thanks to the mechanical functioning in the KeyChain, your lost objects won’t be lost for long.

This creation will help all the kids or grown-ups find their lost objects. The sadness in your mind for losing something valuable to you will soon be replaced with the joy of getting it back. A lost cell-phone, Apple Pencil, water bottle or even sibling at a busy amusement park, will all be solved with my creation. But the “The Lost and Foundkeychain” does not only specialize in finding objects, it also helps find people!  For example, have you ever seen a parent running around, terrified trying to find their kid?  Well this little piece of backpack decor will fix it all up. “The Lost and Found KeyChain” would save so much money otherwise spent replacing important objects, with just a push of a colorful button.

For only  $4.99, the “Lost and Found KeyChain” not only provides you with the joy of finding a lost object or person, but so much more. This keychain can come in customized colors of your pick on a website for free. From red to purple, and gold to silver, this KeyChain can also come in the form of a bracelet, necklace, headband, choker and even anklet. 

The Lost and Found KeyChain can help even the clumsiest person find their lost objects. Next time you wish upon a star to find your lost object, you know that you can just wish upon a The Lost and Found KeyChain.

The Snowman Draw Game!

 The students were eager to have another go at this On Demand Writing Game where they get instant feedback on the importance of descriptive language and adjectives!  Here's how you play:

Step #1: Draw a snowman, complete with background and plenty of colors.

Step #2: Describe your snowman and scenery with adjectives that tell size, shape, color, and number.  Make sure your writing can be read!  Don't leave out a single detail, because....

Step #3: Trade papers, and draw your partner's snowman as they try to draw yours!

Winners were voted on by the class.  Enjoy this amazing artwork and writing!

    The traditional style snowman is resting on a flat-styoe slightly rounded hill about a fourth above the bottom of the paper.  It is very slightly to the left of the paper.

    His smallest ball, the head, has a back top hat shorter than his head.  This hat, if doubled, could reach the top of the paper.  It intercepts a small bit of the forehead with a black rim.  The hat itself is also black.  An orange carrot nose extends from the middle of the head to the end of the eye on the reader's left.  The eyes are half-circles to depict a cheerful expression.  They are inked in a regular blue.  Just below the nose, a smile with four dots, the length of the nose, is drawn right under it.  The head is outlined in black.

    The first body ball is one and a half times larger than the head.  A red and green scarf goes from the readers' left to their right.  It begins red and ends green, totaling six sections.  Slanting upwards is another different portion of the scarf, beginning green and ending up halving the fourth color red.  From that portion's second color (red) on is another portion.  It is stark red.  It ends with red, totalling three sections.  Directly beneath the scarf is an inked blue button.  After twcie the button's height is another, and then a third.  

    The last ball is just a bigger ball.

    The background is white, with a yellow sun in the upper right corner.  There are ten rays around it.  It is in a circle.  The height of the green tree is the same as the last ball.  It is draw in an easy arrow fashion.  Slightly shorter than it, to the reader's left, is a tree drawn similarly.  It's to the alignment of the sun.  In a "v" pattern are three birds on the reader's left.

Vivian's (5th grade) writing was so clear and easy to follow, that Allison (5th grade) could draw this twin scene!

    My snowman is not any regular snowman.  My snowman is well, a snowcone.  My snowman's cone is blue with 18 dark blue snowflakes.

    His mouth has seven small round black dots forming his smile.  His nose is medium sized, pointing to his right.  He has two big black circular eyes above his nose.  On the top of his head he has a small red cherry with a long green stem.

    Back to his cone.  His cone is triangular, light blue, and has 18 dark blue snowflakes scattered around his cone.

    My snowman is on top of a big green hill in front of the blue sky.  There are two purple spikey flowers with green stems beside him.  The weather is clear and bright.  My snowman looks very happy.

What a creative snowman, Audrey!  (5th grade).  Caitlin (4th grade) read carefully and drew this match!

Powerful Paragraphs!

 Once the students got good practice with strong sentence writing, it was time to move on to paragraphs!  In this assignment, they were given a sheet of paper with 10 options for sentence styles.  For example, they could choose:

~Use two or more adjectives

~Start a sentence with "Because"

~Replace a boring verb with a vivid verb

~Vary the punctuation

~Use a "when" or a "where" clause or phrase

And more!

The subjects were nature pictures they got to choose on their own.  The students could write a paragraph describing their picture, a mini science report, or a short story about their photograph.  After students did one paragraph on their own, they could write another with a partner.  Enjoy these samples, and see if you can spot how many different sentence variations there are!

 Cheetahs

by Cho (4th grade)

    Cheetahs are magnificent, lightning quick animals. They are the fastest animals in the world on the ground and can run up to 75 miles per hour. In the hot savanna, cheetahs live alone except when they’re mating and having cubs. Sometimes, brothers live together to help each other hunt and bring down prey larger than they are. Because of humans chopping down their territory, hunting cheetahs for Instagram likes, and predators over-powering them, there are only 10,000 cheetahs left in the world. Only 40% of cheetah cubs survive to adulthood. To ensure their survival, will you help keep them safe?

By Jioh and Zibo, 4th grade