Paragraph Writing: Summer Vacation

The "Budding Authors and Artists" learned that a paragraph is all about ONE topic.  Since summer was still fresh in our memories, we wrote about a fun summer memory we wanted to share with the class.  The students were encouraged to use a descriptive adjective in at least two sentences.  Enjoy these samples of beautiful writing and art!  It sounds like these girls had really fun summers!

 Alyssa, 1st grade

Chloe, 2nd grade

A Genre of Excitement: The Adventure Story!

The "Awesome Authors and Artists" got to write adventure stories.  One of my schools took the traditional "What I Did On My Summer Vacation" Story and gave it a twist of adventure.  They were to start their story with events that truly happened, and somewhere in their story create a tall tale.  Enjoy these two fabulous adventures!  They are loaded with vivid adjectives and have a clear beginning, middle and end.  Bravo!

Summer Adventure in Hong Kong                                                         

By: Emily (4th grade)

This summer I experienced am adventure in swimming at Hong Kong. One day, I went swimming with my dad and uncle. While I swam around the pool, I saw a big rock at the edge.  There was an opening in the stone slab! I slipped in and gasped. This was no ordinary rock! I didn’t know what was about to happen next…

The hole closed behind me, and I took a couple steps back, stunned. Suddenly, I slipped on water and fell into a vat of ocean water! I started to paddle frantically. After a minute, I made no progress, but I could miraculously breathe in water! I swam down and saw an octopus, a giant clam with giant pearls, and more! I had some fun discovering my abilities to actually do stuff underwater.

Suddenly, a voice boomed, “You will become my dinner!” a shadow came over me and I looked up. Two hideous yellow teeth hovered inches above me. “I’m Fang!” the shark growled.

He snapped at my arm. I dodged. He tried my leg. I kicked Fang’s jaw shut. Then, I punted his stomach. “Mommy!! I mean, No Fair!” Fang screeched. He barred the two big teeth and aimed for my head. I swam onto his head and started jumping. But, because of the lack of gravity, the result wasn’t so good.

Fang started chasing me past a field of seaweed, through a maze of stinging jelly fish, over big chunks of coral, and back to the giant clam. The enormous shark opened his mouth and started coming towards me. I quickly grabbed the big pearl from the clam and swam to the shark. I jammed the pearl into the shark’s mouth. “Agh-Kig-Ooog-Ogige!” he said with difficulty. Grinning, I started to swim to the top the ocean. As I started to climb out, I remembered I needed to say thanks to that clam! He did let me use the pearl. But, when I took a breath of water, I started coughing and spluttering. For some reason, I couldn’t breathe under water anymore! I shook my head and staggered to the rock. The rock opened, and I ran outside.

“Emily! What took you so long to swim to and back?” Dad asked.

“Uh, um…I went to eat a snack,” I replied, seeing the vending machine near the pool.

“That‘s a long time to eat a snack. You were gone for almost two hours,” Dad said, his voice rising.

I told him every single thing that happened just then. I expected him to call the Hong Kong News station (not that I knew any), but he didn’t.

Can you BELIEVE he didn’t believe me???!!!

 

Ellery & Me! The True Story Of My Experience With Ellery The Lake Monster

By

Abby (5th grade)

      This summer I went to Gray, Maine for the fourth of July. I met my second cousins Avery and Alexa, my Dad’s cousins Paige, Carrie and Becky and my great uncle Art and my great aunt Gail. It was so much fun road tripping Maine for a day, tubing, and just relaxing. But I can’t really call my first 4^th of July in Maine relaxing…

     We went to Avery and Alexa’s grandparent’s house on Annyrelle Lake with a dock and a full cook-out buffet of everything red, white and blue! There were lobsters, white cake, mussels and more!

     After about an hour, all the kids asked if we could go tubing. I didn’t know what tubing was so I just grabbed a life jacket like everybody else and followed them to the dock. Little did I know that this afternoon would be much more than I bargained for!

     Tubing was so much fun! The tube went bouncing to the left, to the right, here, there, and everywhere! Then, about half way through our ride, Avery yelled, “Switch!” and everybody was scrambling to get to a different spot. The back flap was open, and Avery asked me if I wanted to get on it. “Sure, why not?” I thought. So I clambered to the back of the tube and the ride started! We took off, bouncing and bumping!

     At first it was fun. But after about one minute, it started to become torturous. The water was pulling down my life jacket squeezing through the big hole at the top. Lake water was spraying into my mouth and nose, and it was hard to breathe.

     “Help!” I screamed, but no one could hear me. “Help!” I screamed again, louder.

     Suddenly, something scooped me up and lifted me high in the air. I screamed and screamed until Sam and Avery heard me. Somehow, they got my dad to stop the boat, and they all looked up at me in awe.

     “Turn around!” yelled Alexa.

     Slowly, I turned around.

     “Are you OK? Because you don’t look so good,” said a high voice. Standing in front of me was a light green animal with dark blue spots, 50 feet tall.

     “Wha-what are you?” I stammered.

     “Oh, sorry. I’m Ellery. I live here in the lake. Oh, but don’t worry,” she added. “I would never, ever hurt you.  I’m a lover, not a fighter. And plus, I want a new friend.”

     Phew. I thought. I started to relax a bit. This huge, wet, fuzzy…well, thing, wasn’t going to hurt me, it just wanted a friend.

     “OK. I’m Abby. This is my first time here. Do you think you could show me around?”

     “Sure!” she replied with a huge grin on her face. “Hop on!”

     So I jumped on to her back. I was a little nervous, but then I remembered how nice Ellery was.

     “Ready? Let’s go!” she shouted, and she shot into the water. At first it was kind of scary the way she zoomed past the muddy ground. But it was all like one giant super fun roller coaster ride.

     “I almost forgot,” she said out of breath, “that you can’t breathe underwater like I can.”

     “You’re right, I can’t!” I said to Ellery. And from who knows where she pulled out something that looked like a baseball cap.

     “Put this on,” she said. “It will make you breathe underwater.”

     So I gingerly put on the baseball cap. Should I trust this thing? Would this cap hurt me somehow? All in a few moments I’ll find out, I thought.

     “Ready?” she asked. I nodded, scared. “Let’s go!” She zoomed off again, taking an excited me with her. It was the biggest, fastest, scariest roller coaster I had ever been on! It was so much fun shooting above the muddy ground and across reefs and next to fish. She shot out of the water every once in a while and I saw Avery using a waterproof camera to take pictures of Ellery and me jumping. Before I knew it, Ellery slowed down and took me to the surface of the lake.

     “That was so fun, Ellery! Thank you so much!” I exclaimed, twitterpated.

     “Yes, but now its time for you to have dinner. But before you go I want to give you this piece of seaweed,“she said, handing me a long slice of kelp. “If you tap the seaweed, you’ll be able to see my face and talk to me. I hope you’ll remember me!” she said sinking slowly into the water.

     “Ellery, wait! Here are my earrings for you to remember me by,” I said, handing them to her. So we said our goodbyes, and nothing would ever be the same again. I would call every night on the seaweed line, and no one but my family and I knew the truth about that twitterpatic day in Maine.

Another one of my schools used their "Backwards Land" paragraph (see prior blog post) as a springboard for their adventure story.  They also had to write from the 1st person point of view, but their assignment was to put themselves in their Backwards Land, and write a letter to someone about their experience!  So you have a frame of reference, I will include Crystal's (5th grade) paragraph AND her letter to her mom.  I hope you enjoy these as much as I did!

C.D. Notgnihsaw, by Crystal (5th grade)

     C.D. Notgnihsaw is a musical, breezy suburban town.  Because everyone loves playing records and the weather is windy, the musical notes are carried far off, and tourists are drawn to the devilish pulsing music against their own will.  The climate of C.D. Notgnihsaw is thunderstormy and windy.  All of the evil in the town rubs off on the weather, so the clouds are dark gray and gloomy all the time.  While the climate of C.D. Notghnihsaw is loathesome, the culture is even worse.  Every person plays records to lure tourists to the town, and they trap the tourists so they can never go home.  Be sure to never go to this windy, instrumental town!

And now her letter to her mom:

Dear Mom,

     Hi from C.D. Notgnihsaw!  I wish you were here, but you aren't, so I'll share my adventures with you.

     The ride here was totally awesome!  I arrived by kangaroo, and I rode inside its pouch.  There was a flat-screen TV inside (it was an eight feet tall pouch), and it kept me entertained for almost the entire trip!  Guinea pig servants served me food and beverages the whole way.  Even better, I had a dance party with five hamsters!  Sadly, the journey only lasted an hour, which was way too short.

     When I arrived in town, I was instantly drawn to the music that the locals were playing.  Then, I walked through the iron gates and to my "hotel."  It was a smelly, one-room building, and that room was mine!  I slept in a roach-infested, filthy cot that horrible night.

      The next morning, I set out to meet some of the townsfolk.  Suddenly, I noticed that everybody was gloomy, and the weather was thunderstormy and windy.  Everyone was wearing black raincoats and boots.  The gray clouds in the sky matched their outfits.

     Mom, make sure to never come back here!  Now, because I did, I can never come back home because of the evil music that traps all who visit in a lamp!

     Love, Crystal

Another wonderful semester has begun!

I am happy to report that more wonderful sessions of Writers' Workshop have begun at three different schools, and I have loved getting to know each of my students.


We started off with our first assignment of A Summer Adventure Story.  We've all been given the task of writing or telling about something fun we had done over the summer.... but this assignment was given an exciting twist.  At some point in the story, the students were asked to to turn their true story into one of fantasy and adventure.  We started off brainstorming and story mapping, and then began our rough drafts.  Here are just two of many outstanding stories that were turned in!  See if you can figure out when the truth becomes fiction.....


Here is Riya's (3rd grade).  I love the ending of her story!

"This Summer...." by Riya


This summer my dad and I went to Crater Lake.  I went swimming and relaxed a lot.  But one part of my trip wasn't relaxing.....

When we were just about to start swimming, I saw a lobster.  My dad said he would pull it out, but he only got the claw.  Just the claw bit him for some reason.

"Ouch!" said Dad.

Then the rest of the lobster came together again!  We were so surprised that we forgot about swimming.  We put the lobster in a bucket and took it home.

While we were walking back to the car, we saw that the lobster had disappeared!  We went back to the water to search for it.  Then I found it again, and it said to me, "I am magical.  Please don't eat me!"

So we didn't eat it, but instead took it home as a pet.  Now it's sitting in my room, practicing its magic tricks.


Here is Arushi's (4th grade).  I love her vocabulary, especially her use of outstanding and descriptive action verbs. I also think the subtle mention of sibling rivalry is quite humorous!

"My Vacation," by Arushi

This summer I went to Santa Barbara.  It was a hot day in Santa Barbara, a perfect day for swimming.  But what happened in the pool wasn't what I anticipated....

It was July 20th when all of this happened.  I had persuaded my sister to help me get our parents to let us go to the pool.  They finally said yes, and they decided we'd all go.  So I got my swimsuit on and off we went.

My dad jumped in and told my sister and me to come in.  We shook our heads and wandered around the pool.  Then, my dad decided we were taking too long.  He heaved himself out of the pool and grabbed us.  My sister, being the younger one, screamed, 'Eeeek!"  I, meanwhile, silently struggled.  Okay, maybe I screamed a little  Anyway, my dad lifted us up and threw us in the pool.  We landed with a large splash.

As soon as we rose for breath, my sister shrieked, "Dad!  This is going to ruin my clothes!  They're brand new!"

"Your clothes aren't brand new," I said calmly in my big-sister tone.  "It doesn't matter.  Let's just swim."

I had a fun time playing in the pool after that, even though I had to put up with my sister's grumbling.  Then my dad went to join my mom in the hot tub.

Finally, my sister stopped moaning and dared me to touch the tile dolphin at the very bottom of the pool. I dived down and looked around for the dolphin.  Then I saw it.  It was much more realistic than I originally thought, and its tail glistened and glittered.  I hovered above it, watching sparkles dance around it.  It didn't occur to me that I had been down there five minutes, and hadn't drowned!  All I could do was stare.  Finally, I touched its tail.

Suddenly, the tail started to flip and flop.  I pulled back my hand and saw the tile dolphin come to life!  My sister had come down to see what the hold-up was, and she saw everything.  "Dolphin!" she squealed, and the next thing I knew, I was on the dolphin, watching all the fish.

Fish?  Where was I??  "Um, take us to the top," I told the dolphin, feeling silly talking to it.

But it just nodded and raced to the top of the water.  When I looked, I realized that I was in the sea!  The dolphin looked at me and saw the surprise on my face.  "Don't worry.  I'm Splash, Ruler of the Dolphins, and you are now Ruler of the Sea.  I will take you to the palace," the dolphin said kindly.

"So I'm just a visitor?" whined my sister.

The dolphin nodded.  I, meanwhile, had only just figured out what was happening.  The dolphin took no notice and sped down into the sea.

We finally arrived at the sandy bottom.  A huge team of dolphins swam by and gave me something with their flippers.  It was a glowing green trident.  My sister and I stared at it, awestruck.  Then my sister realized it wasn't for her.  "It's not fair that you get it!" she yelled, startling a school of fish.

"Dolphin, take me to a place where I can rest," she commanded.

I watched her ride off.  After that, I had a great day.  The dolphins took me swimming, a bunch of huge sea horses gave me a ride, and the seals showed me the palace.

Then my sister swam back, a big smile on her face.  "I take back what I said before.  I love this!"

Uh oh.  She couldn't be happy here.  This was MY palace.  She could go get her own!  I decided to make her leave.  I called Splash and asked her to to take us home.  She agreed, but only because I said we'd be back.

Finally, we popped out of the water, and saw the pool.  We joined our parents in the hot tub and told them everything, but no one believed us.  But I knew I was still Queen of the Sea.

I really enjoyed reading Sarah's (5th grade).  Her visual imagery is just beautiful.  What a fabulous adventure!

Horse Rides

by Sarah

            This past summer I went to Lake Tahoe with my family.  We rented a vacation house and it was the best house ever!  We went swimming in the hot tub, playing in the lake, boating, fishing, and horseback riding.  Even though we had a lot of things to do, horseback riding was the event I would never forget.

            First of all, my mom selected the specialty ride because she thought our ride should be a little more special this time.  The trail guide looked really excited about her customers.  She assigned us to our horses and as soon as we got on, we started walking along the trail.

            The ride was pretty long and boring until suddenly, all the horses moved to a small new narrow trail that seemed to have just appeared.  And then we could see a huge tree in the distance that was in the way.

            When we were about to bump into it, a warm gust of wind blew across my face.  I didn’t feel anything when we walked into the tree.  But when I looked back, I could not see the tree anymore.  I didn’t need to care about that because once I turned back around, I was too stunned to say anything.  There was a huge horn right in front of me!  My horse had just turned into a unicorn!

            I think it was about nighttime in this new world because it was all dark and everything was glowing and sparkling.  It wasn’t a cold night; it was warm.  There was soft green moss on the ground and our guide just smiled to our stunned faces.

            Our guide showed us around this new land.  There were pixies everywhere, spreading pixie dust over our heads.  There were also ponies with wings that were grazing in the huge, healthy meadow.  Also, there was a lake that had mermaids in it.  The path we were walking on was lined with different little flowers.  The land was beautiful, filled with life and a sweet aroma always filling the air. 

            The guide led us to some money trees (we weren’t allowed to pick any) to take a break.  I fell asleep and I had no dreams.  Then, I didn’t keep track of what happened after that.

            It was a peaceful sleep, until I woke up under not a money tree in the magical land, but under an apple tree by the horse stables.  Suddenly, I realized that the ride was over and I did not remember a thing about it.  My family kept on telling me that I had fallen asleep on the horse, and they had to get me off the horse and put me under the tree.  I really don’t believe them since they don’t sound so convincing.  I think the pixie dust was to make me think it actually happened.  I’m the one who knows what really happened.  Or so I think.  Maybe I’m wrong.  We’ll never know.