Exploring "Voice"- Becoming a Hotel Critic for a Day!

     Voice is so important in writing!  Many young authors have a natural voice, or at least a preferred one when assigned to pick, as they write their stories.  The challenge is to push them out of their comfort zone to use a voice that might not be one they prefer, or might not even match the assignment!

    To accomplish this challenge, the students drew names of places out of a bag.  These varied from everywhere from...

    -  A resort in Bora Bora

    - A rickety old house boat on Lake Shasta

    - A small hotel in the middle of Arkansas

    - A cramped NYC hotel room

    - Even an igloo in Alaska!

    Then, they drew "voices," or moods from the bag.  These varied from...

    - Jubilant

    - Snooty

    - Grumpy

    - Grateful

    - And more!

    When the students figured out where they were going, they had to pretend to be critics, and write a critique of the hotel, its grounds, the restaurants, and the people serving there.  This led to quite a few laughs, especially when moods didn't match up with locations!  (Who could be bored on an Alaskan cruise?!)

    Enjoy these samples!

A Critique of An Alaskan Igloo

By Marissa, the Grateful Critic (8th grade)

I got invited to an Alaskan igloo in winter by my boss Ms.Huff, and it was the best trip I've ever taken.

After I came to from fainting from the cold, I saw a wonderful blanket of icy snow and a pretty little storm of ice that only shattered a little bit of my shoes. There was even a fishing hole outside!

    I walked inside and it was ginormous! Probably about the size of a family tent! The igloo was incredibly round and there was even a block removed for a window with refreshing, cold air. I did see a polar bear rug which I thought was illegal, but no matter.

And for food it was really something incredible. First of all, Igot to fish all by myself, which promotes independence. I didn’t have a fire, which meant I actually got to try things raw!! Yay! I tried some carp, blobfish, pufferfish and some lionfish! I only threw up ten times!

On my last day, this charming guy named Riuhgsflkjgr made me a fire! It was so warm!!! I tried to start a conversation with him but he only grunted. It was so cool!!!

To top it all off, the part I was in has 67 days of darkness in the year!!! It was so much fun to stumble around blindly when I didn't have my lamp!

I would absolutely recommend this place from the freezing ice to the black darkness. It was an amazing and wonderful experience.

A Stay in a Small Hotel Suite, NYC

Critic: Vivian (6th grade), The Grumpy Critic

My editor had sent me on an “inspiring” mission to go to “busy, active, and friendly” NYC. Unfortunately, my editor misjudged, and my review is perhaps not extremely positive. The taxi I hailed was so very delightful, especially with the loud radio blaring music. He pulled up at a parking lot, where he sent me on my way, telling me, “Only ‘bout a minute’s walk.” Indeed, he was quite wrong. Ten minutes later, I was still walking. At last I rounded a corner and my eyes were set upon a small hotel. 

I tapped open my iPhone and glanced at the hotel website. It showed a glinting glass terrace lighted by the rosy colors of dawn, and a sparkling lobby with marble pillars. I stepped into the lobby, where it was not-so-nearly matching the website. The marble was actually painted stone, and dust littered the “shining and patterned” floor. At the counter, a man wearing a shirt that read “Let’s Go NY” was bickering with the assistant, whose face morphed into a tomato-red color. I passed them on the way to a free counter, where, after I checked in, a key was very politely shoved in my face. I observed the key, which was very simple and totally not easy to replicate. It was a very elaborate iron cylinder with two pegs and one indent. And there was no key card, as there were in several other hotels that I have visited. The door creaked open, squeaking on its rusty hinges. Quite interesting, since I had clearly recalled that a video of the rooms posted on the website proudly stated that their doors were soundless. Very true, website. Very true. I crossed into the room, and fainted in awe. Totally.

It was quite underwhelming. I dropped my teal suitcase on the wood floor in the little space that was not covered. I opened my closet, which I quickly filled with my clothes. Then, I spread my belongings out on a “generously provided” tiny shelf. I then explored the cramped bathroom, which was so very nicely equipped with the tiniest shower I’d ever seen. And it was extremely convenient that there was no  room service. I stored my suitcase under my pitifully-sized bed. The sheets were thin, and the blanket was heavy. I observed the blanket. It was so clean that I found lint and bits of dust on it. It was dusk outside by then, the first stars twinkling, appearing silently, and I slipped into pajamas and under the covers. It turns out I was right, it was so comfortable that I was kept awake all night, tossing and turning. 

The next morning, I observed the map on my iPhone, searching for suitable restaurants. Guess what? I didn’t find any within walking distance! There weren’t many options, and I thought that NYC had many restaurants. I settled for a small Ramen Shop, for I highly disliked taking a taxi. Ah, yes. Polluted air is so good for one’s lungs! After a short walk of five miles, I arrived at a dilapidated shack with an uncomplimentary neon sign. I glanced again at the maps. What do New Yorkers think? This restaurant was rated 4.8 stars. I entered. A smiling woman greeted me, welcoming me into her grand restaurant. Very grand, especially since it was the size of my bedroom at home. 

The food was alright, but it was not so good that people would come rushing in and give it 5 stars. After leaving the shack, I went to Times Square, which clearly earns the #1 location if one enjoys: too many people, pollution, blinding lights, and dirty alleyways. 

        I was quite disappointed by the staff, as well as the lack of room service, and the amazing novelty of an old, battered phone. Impressive. Very. So impressive that I ranked it the lowest on my list of hotels. I barely saw any staff aside from the attendants, and there were signs saying WE’RE HIRING, implying that they needed workers to help clean their very pristine beds. I made a call only once, and the phone turned out to be in need of repair. I would recommend this hotel to people who are either completely out of their minds, or wanting to experience one of the worst hotels ever.

Fun with "Voice:" Becoming a Hotel Critic!

     As the Summer Workshop continued its summer theme, the students became hotel critics for vacation destinations!  However, to challenge them, their destinations and their voice was randomly chosen FOR them!  All possible destinations and all possible moods were drawn out of the hat, and the students were surprised at how they could vary their vocabulary and tone to reflect their voice.  Enjoy these samples!

Cliffside Shack in Hawaii

By Claire (6th grade), the Grateful Critic

A few weeks ago, I decided to book a vacation in Hawaii. It was a nice stay for me, and I wish for my readers to learn about this vacation spot. 

The house appeared to be tiny and a bit cramped, but, as my mother used to say, “You should never judge a book by its cover.” The cliffside spot had a wonderful view of the sea, however, definitely making up for its size. Though there were fierce winds that blew from time to time, it was really quite peaceful in those heights.

The inside was indeed a bit small, but it was cozy. There was no electricity nor water, instead, some firewood stood by the shack and there was a well a little way down the mountain side. To cook, I simply had to start a fire with the firewood so generously provided, and then hold a pan or pot above the fire with whatever I wished to eat inside of it. I personally thought that it was a really hands-on experience for learning how people of the past used to cook. Instead of the cold, harsh electronic lighting we have all grown used to, there were candle-holders on the walls for bright and cheerful lighting. The bed, held by two chains to the wall, had something growing on it which looked suspiciously like mold. But no matter; I think I’ve read somewhere that mold is, in fact, good for your health. To show the continuing generosity and compassion of the owners of the shack, they even installed a curtain between the urinal and the rest of the room on my request!

There were not many restaurants within walking distance, but there was a sandwich shop on the boardwalk, which I visited on my second day there. The sandwich was delicious, with only a hint of something that tasted like gym socks. Besides that and an ice cream shop (also on the boardwalk), there were not many restaurants where I stayed. But, as I have said before, I liked the ways of cooking here very much, so I did not mind.

Before I rented my quaint cottage, I spoke briefly with one of the owners on the phone. Forgive me if I say he seemed a bit mad; he kept asking me if I was sure I really wanted to rent the house. But, as I have mentioned, the owners were indeed very generous and kind to me (though we have never spoken face to face). 

My critique has come to an end. I’d recommend this quaint little house to anyone who desires a vacation with  a more old-fashioned style, but it all depends on the matter of opinion.

*Here is another review of the exact same place, but with a completely different voice. Enjoy comparing how these two students rocked the concept of voice!*

Hawaii Vacation Review

by Aiden (7th grade), the Annoyed Critic

I wanted to go on a vacation, but when my editor at the news company I worked at heard about it he said that I should write an article about it. He even offered to pay, so off to Maui I went.

The “humble and quaint house” that my editor provided was terrible. The “house” was far from civilization, and was super tiny. I couldn’t even see most of the house, because there was a single solitary lightbulb. Not to mention the generator which was the only source of electricity.

The bedroom, which was practically the whole house, smelled like someone else. I looked all around and couldn't find the bathroom. I looked out of the only window in the house, and what did I see? An outhouse. I tried to take a nap to get this dumb trip over with, but when I laid my head down, there were no pillows! Unbelievable.

I decided to get out of the “house”, and check out some local restaurants and shops. The closest thing to local was over 5 miles away! When I got there, half the restaurants were closed, and the ones that were open were overpriced and only mediocre. I ended up having to take a cab home.

My editor who rented this “house” for me didn't give me any details at all. I don't think I would have came if he told me all the details.

Here is my final verdict: DON’T COME HERE. Its small, smelly, and feels like it was made in the 16th century. I'm never coming back!

                                                

                                 An Alaskan Cruise, by Ben (5th grade), the Annoyed Critic

A month ago I decided to go on an Alaskan cruise. It was very bad, and my room was so cramped and cold, with screaming kids on each side of me. I was so annoyed!

I stayed on a very big boat. It was so big, I could not find anything! The boat was also really slow. It was super stinky from all the little kids and hairy men who did not take a shower.

The room I stayed in was so small and cramped. It had one TV, a bed, and one tiny window, so tiny I could not even see out of it! There was one sink with no soap.

It blew my mind how big the ship was. I hated this because I could not find anything. When I finally found a restaurant, the food was so overpriced!

Five dollars for a cookie?! When I started to eat the food, I found it so bad! But I was so hungry, I had to choke it all down.

There were so many waiters, but they were so slow. For instance, it took fifteen minutes for the room service to come. Also, when I gave the staff my bags, it took thirty minutes for my bags to arrive to my room!

My critique has come to an end, thankfully. I would only recommend this place to people who like smelly cramped places. Personally, I hated it. I will never go again!

Disney Hotel in Anaheim      

  By Lia (7th grade), the Jubilant Critic

    Just last weekend, I went to the Disney Hotel for an exciting vacation. It was so amazing that I couldn't wait long until I gave it a review. The room was large, the pool was fun, Disneyland was exciting, and the service was perfect!!!

    The hotel was all Disney themed, which was awesome because i'm such a huge Disney fan! The souvenir shop had all sorts of character stuffed animals, cozy blankets, Disneyland coffee mugs, hats with ears,  and more! It was a big hotel, so I got lots of exercise walking from the pool to my room, or to Goofy’s Kitchen. The pool was like an amusement park all by itself!

    My room was exactly like I had imagined it to be, all Mickey Mouse themed! The soap was shaped like Mickey, the TV, phone, and sink all had Mickey ears on it, and the blankets all had Mickey or Minnie on them. My room was expensive but so worth it, and much bigger than my room at home. There was also a balcony for me to see the magnificent nightly fireworks, which of course were also Disney themed!

    Goofy’s Kitchen, the restaurant on site, is a buffet style character dining experience. The food there is delicious and the chefs knew how to accommodate my allergies to vegetables. The characters come every so often singing and dancing to make every meal not just an occasion to get nutrition, but also a time to have fun! I enjoyed watching the Disney characters come and surprise excited children! On top of that, everything at Goofy‘s Kitchen tasted delicious and fresh.

The service at The Disney hotel was unforgettable. However messy I was, the cleaning lady, Martha, always helped me put everything back into place. She always folded my towels into Mickey shapes and left me sweet chocolates. When I arrived, the person at the front desk gave me a free chocolate and vanilla ice cream popsicle, then cleaned up the melted ice cream off the floor without getting mad at me! The room service delivery person  blew me away. Not only did she come to my room quickly with hot food, she also stayed to play board games with me!

I hope you will consider coming to the Disney Hotel after all I have reported. I’d recommend this hotel to friends of Disney, just like me! This hotel definitely gets five stars from this jubilant traveler!

Now that you have read a "jubilant" critic's review, check out Marissa's (6th grade) critique. She is very annoyed by the same things that made Lia so happy!

Disneyland Hotel

         By Marissa the annoyed critic

I had to stay at a terrible hotel because my boss, Mrs.Huff made me go there. I would like to tell everyone about the most annoying trip ever.

When I arrived at the hotel, my eyes popped, and not in a good way. It was bursting with every irritating color. Everywhere I looked, kids were screaming and jumping on all the furniture. Those brats, (to make things worse) Mickey Mouse and Goofy came up and talked to me. I had better things to do with my time, so I went to my room.

Mickey. Mickey. Mickey. Two Mickey lamps, a Mickey carpet, even Mickey blankets!  Anywhere I looked in my room, there was a Mickey! I paid lots of money for the room, and that’s what I got. I called for room service but they never picked up. I tried to go to bed, but fireworks and screaming kept me up. There went my good sleep.

In the morning, I went to Goofy’s Kitchen to get some decent food. Here’s what I got instead. Everything was either too cutesy or too silly. I got in line for the buffet, but because it was crowded kids were pushing and shoving. I had to wait two hours for food.

Finally the employees. They kept on smiling and smiling, but the smiles were way too cheerful. Then all the characters kept taking annoying pictures with me. Lastly, everyone was a Disney character, and they were huge. I’m never going to work there.

I hated the Disneyland Hotel! There were too many Disney things! Read my friend Julia's critique at staying at a hotel 3 miles from Disneyland. I’m sure it’s much better than the Disneyland Hotel.